There have been shots fired.
Total civil unrest is happening throughout the Los Angeles area.
Dozens of police are running down the streets.
Smoke reigned over the entire city.
We're telling anybody who's in downtown South Central...
There are 38 dead and more than...
The EMT are having a hard time getting in...
...where truck driver Reginald
Denny was pulled from his vehicle...
The city resembles a war zone.
Crowds gathered at Parker Center downtown.
...here in Hollywood, where
looters have struck many businesses.
There have been 3,600 structural fires.
Thick, black smoke rising from the countless fires
in Hollywood, downtown, Compton, Watts and Long Beach...
In America,
a girl can be crowned a princess
for her beauty and her grace.
But an Aztec princess is chosen for her blood...
Eva?
...to fight for her people, as Papi and his father fought
against those who say we are less than they are,
who say we are not equal in beauty and in blessings.
It was the first day of school,
and I was waiting for my father to take me to the bus.
Roberto!
Eva!
And I saw the war for the first time.
Eva! Eva!
Police! Open up!
They took my father for retaliation.
He was innocent, but they took him,
because he was respected by my people.
They called my people a gang
because we fight for our America.
On your feet!
When I got my initiation into the gang life,
I became third generation.
They beat you so you won't break.
They are my family.
In Long Beach, it all comes down to what you look like.
If you're Latino or Asian or black,
you could get blasted any time you walk out your door.
We fight each other for territory.
We kill each other over race, pride and respect.
We fight for what is ours.
They think they're winning by jumping me now,
but soon they're all going down.
War has been declared.
- Here's your coffee. - Thank you.
I brought my lesson plans. I'd love it if you'd look them over.
Yes, and these are the classes you'll start with.
Freshman English, four classes, about 150 students in all.
Some of them are just out of juvenile hall.
One or two might be wearing ankle
cuffs to monitor their whereabouts.
And you see here, we'll have to revise your lesson plans.
And if you look at their scores, these vocabulary lists
and some of these, the books, Homer's The Odyssey,
they're gonna be too difficult for them.
All right.
Also, for most of them to get here
it takes three buses, almost 90 minutes each way.
My God.
So I wouldn't give them too much of a homework load.
You'll just be wasting a lot of
time following up on overdue work.
All right. Thank you.
- You're from Newport Beach? - Yes.
It's too bad you weren't here even two years ago, you know.
We used to have one of the highest
scholastic records in the district,
but since voluntary integration was suggested,
we've lost over 75º/º of our strongest students.
Well, actually, I chose Wilson
because of the integration program.
I think what's happening here is really exciting, don't you?
My father was involved in the civil rights movement.
And I remember when I was watching the LA riots on TV,
I was thinking of going to law school at the time.
And I thought, God, by the time
you're defending a kid in a
courtroom, the battle's already lost.
I think the real fighting should happen here in the classroom.
Well, that's a very
well-thought-out phrase.
Erin,
I think you're a lovely, intelligent woman.
But you're a first-time teacher.
As head of this department, I have to be confident
you're capable of dealing with what we have to face here.
I am.
I know I have a lot to learn as a
teacher, but I'm a really good student.
I am, and I really want to be here.
- Those are lovely pearls. - Thank you. From my father.
I wouldn't wear them to class.
Honey?
What?
Do I look like a teacher?
Hey!
Hey, Chris, yo, what up?
- Hello. - Hello.
Hey, yo, let's sit right here, man.
Hi.
Hey, girl, you wanna give me some fries with that shake?
My name is Erin Gruwell. Welcome to Freshman English.
I give this bitch a week.
Hi.
Okay. Brandy Ross?
Gloria Munez.
Alejandro Santiago.
Andre Bryant.
Eva Benitez.
Eva, not Eva.
Eva.
I have to go to the bathroom.
- Okay, make sure that you take a...
- Yeah, I know.
Ben Samuels?
That white boy hoping he's in the wrong room.
I gotta get out of here.
- Sindy Ngor. - Right here.
Is that correct?
- Jamal Hill? - Man, what am I doing in here?
This whole ghetto-ass class has got people in here
looking like a bad rerun of Cops and shit.
You know what I'm saying? It's true.
- Are you Jamal? - Yeah.
Well, for some reason they have you registered in this class.
- Yeah, and that's some bullshit.
- It's the dumb class, coz.
It means you're too dumb.
- Man, say it to my face, coz. - I just did.
See what I mean? Dumb.
- Man, I know you ain't talking to me!
- Okay...
Look, homey, I'll beat that ass, homeboy.
Can you please sit back down?
Look, I got your spot on the team.
That's why you're over there wagging your tongue.
Please sit back in your seats.
Look, your spot is good as gone. I
don't know why you keep wasting your time
coming to practice with them two-year-old Nikes on your feet!
You don't know nothing about me, coz!
Broke down my whole situation.
Jamal?
So, now you're in my face now, right?
Sit your punk ass down! Sit your punk ass down, homeboy!
I will run that ass off the field.
Shut your ass up. What's up, homey?
I mean, what's up? Sit your ass down, homey!
Excuse me, may I please get some help in here?
So do something! Back up!
You touching me now?
Sit down, homeboy. Back up, I'm not gonna tell you again.
You gonna look at my face now, right?
You ain't taking nothing from me, homeboy!
I will run your ass off the field!
Boy, sit your ass back down.
Don't even worry about it, I'm gonna see you.
Tell him. Sit his ass down.
Sit your ass down.
Thank you. Let him out of here, man. That's some bullshit.
Erin?
Erin, this is Brian Gelford.
He teaches Junior English and
the Distinguished Honors Classes.
- Hi. Erin Gruwell. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- You saw a little action today, I hear.
- Yeah. It happened so fast.
Well, don't be discouraged.
You put your time in, in a few years,
you'll be able to teach juniors.
They're a pleasure.
By then, most of your kids will be gone anyway.
- What do you mean?
- Well, eventually, they just stop coming.
Well, if I do my job, they might be lining up at the door.
- Right? - Yeah.
- Nice pearls. - Thank you.
If it was up to me, I wouldn't even be in school.
My probation officer threatened me,
telling me it was either school or boot camp.
Dumbass.
He thinks that the problems going on in Long Beach
aren't going to touch me at Wilson.
My PO doesn't understand that schools are like the city,
and the city is just like a prison,
all of them divided into separate
sections, depending on tribes.
There's Little Cambodia.
The Ghetto.
Wonder Bread Land.
And us, South of the Border or Little Tijuana.
That's just the way it is, and everyone knows it.
But soon enough, you have little
wannabes trying to hit you up at school,
demanding respect they haven't earned.
It looks like this, one tribe
drifting quietly to another's territory
without respect, as if to claim what isn't theirs.
An outsider looking in would
never see it, but we could feel it.
Something was coming.
Settle down.
Let's go over the first name on the list, Homer.
Homer's The Odyssey.
I know Homer the Simpson.
No, this Homer was an ancient Greek,
but maybe he was bald just like Homer Simpson.
Okay.
What's up?
Quietly, please.
Mrs. Gruwell, he just took my damn bag!
Shut up! Ain't nobody touched your damn bag.
Yeah, I saw you.
Jamal. Jamal. Get her backpack.
I didn't do nothing anyway!
- Jamal. Jamal. - Okay.
Wait! Wait! Please, stay in your
seats! Wait! Stay in your seats! Please!
Slanty-eyed bitch!
Return to your classrooms.
Return to the classrooms immediately.
That's all you got?
Clear the school lawn and the recreation field now!
...classrooms, or you will be subject to disciplinary action.
You can best help yourself and your fellow students
and your school by returning to your classrooms now.
Please return to your classrooms.
Get up, bitch!
All students must return to their classrooms immediately.
Erin?
Erin.
Hey, baby.
You okay?
Come here.
Are you sure about this?
Well, it's not exactly how I pictured it.
Don't tell my dad.
Hopefully, he hasn't seen the news.
- So, how's work? - Dad.
- I was asking your husband. - It's good. I mean, for now.
It's a good company.
I pretty much run the computer data department.
- I thought you were an architect.
- He is. He's just taking a break.
And the money's good for now.
How much are you making, $27,000 before taxes?
If you know, why are you asking?
So, what's everybody gonna eat?
With your brains, you could run a major corporation.
Instead, I worry all night
because you're a teacher at Attica.
Can you hear what you're saying?
How many times have I listened to you
about walking civil rights marches?
These gangs are criminals, not activists. You read the papers?
They said the same thing about the Black Panthers.
I'll lay odds your kids don't even know
who Rap Brown or Eldridge Cleaver were.
You're gonna waste your talents on people
who don't give a damn about education.
It breaks my heart.
I tell you the truth.
Well...
I'm sorry. I can't help that.
- You think this is good enough for her?
- Yeah, I do.
Look, Steve,
if Erin thinks she can teach these kids, she can.
You telling her she can't is just gonna make her mad.
So he doesn't like your job. So
what? Why do you let it get to you?
I don't know, it just does. I'm
not used to disappointing him. I...
Just let me know when I can brush my teeth.
- I hate that we don't have our own sinks.
- Come in. There's room.
All right. Thank you.
I can't believe he brought up my salary.
What's happened to him?
He was like Atticus Finch to me when I was growing up,
and now he's talking about salaries?
I think he's playing too much golf.
In fact, I think he needs an intervention.
Why isn't being a teacher good enough for him?
Honey, just calm down.
You know, except for marrying me,
you never seriously disappoint him. He worships you.
He likes you. He just doesn't...
He just doesn't think I'm good enough for you, which is fine.
That's what fathers do. I'm sure I'll be that way someday.
Look, just, you know, stop worrying
about being his perfect daughter.
You don't live in his house, you live in ours.
Or until we find one.
- Or until you build us one. - Yeah.
With extra sinks.
You're a teacher because you say you are.
I have this idea.
We're gonna be covering poetry. Who here likes Tupac Shakur?
It's 2Pac.
2Pac Shakur. Excuse me. Raise your hand.
Really? I thought there'd be more fans.
I have the lyrics to this song printed out.
I want you to listen to this phrase I have up on the board.
It's an example of an internal rhyme.
What he does is very
sophisticated and cool, actually.
Man-child in the promised land couldn't afford many heroes
Moms was the only one there Pops was a no-show
And, no, I guess you didn't know
that I would grow to be so strong
You looking kinda pale, was it the ale? Oh, pops was wrong
Where was the money that you said you would send me?
Talked on the phone and you sounded so friendly
- Think we don't know 2Pac?
- White girl gonna teach us about rap.
No, it's not that. See, what I was trying to do...
You have no idea what you're doing up there, do you?
You ever been a teacher before?
And teacher gets nailed, y'all!
All right, Jamal, enough. Jamal! That's enough!
You know what? I want you to move
to this front seat right here now.
- What? - Come on.
I am sick of these antics in my classroom.
Well, there you are.
I was wondering when you were gonna lose that damn smile.
Switch with Ben.
- Come on. - I can't go back there alone.
- It'll be fine. - No, it won't.
I'm not sitting near him.
I ain't going up there without my homey.
I'm not sitting back there alone!
- All right. - Shut up.
All right, you know what?
I want you all to move to this side of the room.
You in the back, up here. Sindy
and all of you, move to the back.
Come on. Let's go. Now!
Get your ass back to China, all of y'all.
- You're all little midget -ass punks.
- Move before I stomp your peanuts.
Boo!
Get your ass to the back, boy.
Get off my desk.
So, everybody happy with the new borders?
Eva?
Where are you going?
Hey! Hey!
This is bull! Come on, man! What the...
What the hell? Damn!
I want my money back!
This shit took my damn money! I want my damn money back!
Look what you putting me through. Shit!
Learn to speak the damn language!
You're from this country, aren't you?
I want my money back!
Come on! Let's go!
Come on, come on, girl! Let's go!
Paco was scared.
In the car, he said,
You can't go against your own people, your own blood.
The same words my father used so many times.
Only I saw Paco.
The others were turned away.
So when the police questioned me, I knew I had to protect him.
All right, everyone, we need to get
started so classes won't be too delayed.
Principal Banning would like to say something
in the light of last night's events.
I've spoken to the police.
As you might already know, there were persons involved
in last night's shooting who are Wilson students.
Grant Rice has been arrested as a prime suspect.
Ms. Gruwell,
apparently one of your students, Eva Benitez...
- Eva... has identified him as the shooter.
She's the prime witness in the case.
It is our policy not to discuss
the subject inside the classroom.
- Thank you very much. - Thank you.
Hey, Tiny, check this out.
Hey. Hey!
Yes?
All right.
Gloria?
Please read the first sentence on the board.
Why me?
Because I know how much you love to read.
Close the magazine.
Odysseus had no sense of direction.
Now, none of these sentences are correct.
I'd like you to rewrite these
sentences using the proper tenses
and spelling on page four of your workbooks.
I don't have a page four. It got torn out.
Okay, why don't you just use the next blank page?
What's going on?
What is that? Give it to me.
- What is this? - Just leave it alone.
You think this is funny?
Tito?
Would this be funny if it were a picture of you?
It ain't.
Close the workbooks.
Maybe we should talk about art. Tito's
got real talent, don't you think?
- Yeah, yeah. - Go, Tito.
You know something?
I saw a picture just like this once in a museum.
Only it wasn't a black man, it was a Jewish man.
And instead of the big lips, he had a really big nose,
like a rat's nose.
But he wasn't just one particular Jewish man,
this was a drawing of all Jews.
And these drawings were put in the newspapers
by the most famous gang in history.
That's us, dawg.
You think you know all about gangs?
You're amateurs.
This gang would put you all to shame.
And they started out poor and angry,
and everybody looked down on them.
Until one man decided to give them some pride,
an identity and somebody to blame.
You take over neighborhoods?
That's nothing compared to them. They took over countries.
And you wanna know how?
They just wiped out everybody else.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah, they wiped out everybody they didn't like,
and everybody they blamed for their life being hard.
And one of the ways they did it was by doing this.
See, they'd print pictures like this in the newspapers.
Jewish people with big, long
noses. Blacks with big, fat lips.
They'd also publish scientific evidence
that proved Jews and blacks were
the lowest form of human species.
Jews and blacks were more like animals.
And because they were just like animals
it didn't really matter whether they lived or died.
In fact, life would be a whole
lot better if they were all dead.
That's how a holocaust happens.
And that's what you all think of each other.
You don't know nothing, homegirl.
No, I don't, Marcus! So why don't you explain it to me?
I ain't explaining shit to you!
Do you even know how we live?
We was here first, man.
Just shut that shit up, homeboy.
All right! All right! All right!
So what you're saying is, if the Latinos weren't here,
or the Cambodians or the blacks
or the whites or whoever they are,
if they weren't here, everything would
be better for you, isn't that right?
Of course it'd be better!
Lt'd be better if you weren't here.
Right. Right.
It starts with a drawing like this,
and then some kid dies in a drive-by,
never even knowing what hit him.
You don't know nothing!
You don't know the pain we feel.
You don't know what we got to do.
You got no respect for how we living.
You got us in here, teaching us this grammar shit,
and then we got to go out there again.
And what are you telling me about that, huh?
What are you doing in here that
makes a goddamn difference to my life?
You don't feel respected. Is that what you're saying, Eva?
Well, maybe you're not. But to
get respect, you have to give it.
That's bullshit.
What?
Why should I give my respect to you?
'Cause you're a teacher?
I don't know you.
How do I know you're not a liar standing up there?
How do I know you're not a bad person standing up there?
I'm not just gonna give you my respect
because you're called a teacher.
White people always wanting their
respect like they deserve it for free.
I'm a teacher. It doesn't matter what color I am.
It's all about color.
It's about people deciding what you deserve,
about people wanting what they don't deserve,
about whites thinking they run this world no matter what.
You see, I hate white people.
- You hate me? - Yeah.
- You don't know me. - I know what you can do.
I saw white cops shoot my friend in
the back for reaching into his pocket!
His pocket.
I saw white cops break into my house
and take my father for no reason
except because they feel like it!
Except because they can.
And they can because they're white.
So I hate white people on sight!
Ben, do you have anything to say?
Can I please get out of here?
Lady, stop acting like you're
trying to understand our situation
and just do your little babysitting up there.
- That's all you think this is? - It ain't nothing else.
When I look out in the world,
I don't see nobody that looks like me with their pockets full,
unless they're rapping a lyric or dribbling a ball.
So what else you got in here for me?
And what if you can't rap a lyric or dribble a ball?
- It ain't this. I know that much.
- Damn right.
And you all think you're gonna make it to graduation like this?
I made it to high school. Ain't nobody stopped me.
Lady, I'm lucky if I make it to 18. We in a war.
We're graduating every day we live,
because we ain't afraid to die protecting our own.
At least when you die for your own,
you die with respect, you die a warrior.
That's right.
So when you're dead, you'll get respect? Is that what you think?
- That's right. - That's right.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
You know what's gonna happen when you die?
You're gonna rot in the ground.
And people are gonna go on living,
and they're gonna forget all about you.
And when you rot,
do you think it's gonna matter
whether you were an original gangster?
You're dead.
And nobody, nobody is gonna wanna remember you,
because all you left behind in this world is this.
You're raising your hand?
That thing that you said before, the Holocause?
- Holocaust, yes. - What is that?
Raise your hand if you know what the Holocaust is.
Raise your hand
if anyone in this classroom has ever been shot at.
What about this? We were discussing the Holocaust.
No, they won't be able to read that.
We can try. The books are just sitting here.
Look at their reading scores.
And if I give your kids these
books, I'll never see them again.
If I do, they'll be damaged.
What about these? Romeo and
Juliet. That's a great gang story.
No, not the books. This is what we give them.
It is Romeo and Juliet, but it's a condensed version.
But even these, look how they treat them.
See how torn up they are? They draw on them.
Ms. Campbell?
They know they get these
because no one thinks they're smart enough for real books.
Well, I don't have the budget to buy new books every semester
when these kids don't return them.
So, what do I do? Buy their books myself?
Well, that's up to you, but you'd be wasting your money.
Is there someone else I can speak to about this?
- Excuse me? - I'm sorry, but
I don't understand.
Does the Long Beach Board of Ed agree
that these books should just sit here and not be used at all?
Let me explain.
It's called site-based instruction.
It means that I and the
principal each have the authority
to make these kinds of decisions
without having to go to the Board,
who have bigger problems to solve.
Do you understand how it works now?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep your authority.
I would never do that. I just...
I don't know how to make them
interested in reading with these.
You can't make someone want an education.
The best you can do is try to get
them to obey, to learn discipline.
That would be a tremendous accomplishment for them.
Since you know Margaret better than I do,
if I could just get some backup from you.
I really think that the stories
like The Diary of Anne Frank and...
That they'd be so great for them,
and she doesn't seem to understand
that they could relate to these stories
considering all that they face.
Oh, of course. It's a universal story.
I mean, Anne Frank, Rodney King, they're almost interchangeable.
- Are you making fun of me? - Yeah.
God, listen to what you're saying.
How dare you compare them to Anne Frank?
They don't hide.
They drive around in the open with automatic weapons.
I'm the one living in fear. I can't walk out my door at night.
And you blame these kids?
This was an A-list school before they came here.
And look what they turned it into.
I mean, does it make sense
that kids who want an education should suffer
because their high school gets turned into a reform school?
Because kids who don't want to be here, and shouldn't be here,
are forced to be here
by the geniuses running the school district?
Integration's a lie.
Yeah, we teachers, we can't say that
or we lose our jobs for being racist.
So, please, stop your cheerleading,
Erin. You're ridiculous.
You don't know the first thing about these kids.
And you're not qualified to
make judgments about the teachers
who have to survive this place.
We're gonna play a game, all
right? It's a lot of fun. I promise.
Look, you can either sit in your seats reading those workbooks,
or you can play a game.
Either way, you're in here till the bell rings.
Okay. This is called the Line Game.
I'm gonna ask you a question.
If that question applies to you, you step onto the line,
and then step back away for the next question.
- Easy, right? - Yeah, whatever.
The first question,
how many of you have the new Snoop Dogg album?
Did you steal it?
Okay, back away.
Next question,
how many of you have seen Boyz n the Hood?
Okay. Next question.
How many of you live in the projects?
How many of you know someone, a friend or relative,
who was or is in juvenile hall or jail?
How many of you have been in juvenile hall
or jail for any length of time?
Detention don't count.
Does a refugee camp count?
You decide.
How many of you know where to get drugs right now?
How many of you know someone in a gang?
How many of you are gang members?
- Nice try. - Nice try.
Okay, that was a stupid question, wasn't it?
Yeah.
You're not allowed gang affiliations in school.
I apologize for asking. My badness.
Okay, now I'm gonna ask you a more serious question.
Stand on the line if you've lost a friend to gang violence.
Stay on the line if you've lost more than one friend.
Three.
Four or more.
Okay, I'd like us to pay respect to those people now.
Wherever you are, just speak their name.
James.
Beatriz.
Thank you all very much.
Now, I have something for each of you.
Everyone has their own story,
and it's important for you to tell
your own story, even to yourself.
So, what we're going to do is
we're gonna write every day in these journals.
You can write about whatever you want,
the past, the present, the future.
You can write it like a diary, or you can write
songs, poems, any good thing, bad thing, anything.
But you have to write every day.
Keep a pen nearby. Whenever you feel the inspiration.
And they won't be graded.
How can I give an A or a B for writing the truth, right?
And I will not read them unless you give me permission.
I will need to see that you've made
an entry, but I'll just do this,
skim to see that you wrote that day.
Now, if you want me to read it, I
have... Excuse me. A cabinet over here.
It has a lock on it. I will keep it open during class,
and you can leave your diary there if you want me to read it.
I will lock this cabinet at the end of every class.
Okay?
So, you can each come up, one by one, and take your own journal.
Whenever you're ready.
Eva holds back, but I know she wants to be involved.
She's so stubborn.
Who really surprised me was Brandy, who never says a word,
but she was the first to step up and take a journal. I...
Honey, here. Here, sit down.
- It's all right. No, it's all right.
- I'll move this.
I don't mind standing. Food goes straight down.
- How much longer are you gonna be?
- I don't know.
- Want to help?
- Not really, I'm a terrible drawer.
- You're an architect.
- All right, I just don't want to.
What's the matter? Is something wrong?
No, it's nothing.
Well, it's just, you know, I want to hear all this, I do.
It just...
I feel like we haven't talked about anything,
other than your job, in like forever.
I'm sorry.
- Well, what's going on at work? - Nothing.
I don't want to talk about that, either.
I just want to hang out. I want to be home.
And I want to be with my schoolteacher.
I've always had this fantasy
about being kept late after school.
Well, I'm sorry I left my dirty erasers at work.
Do all the other teachers put in this much extra effort?
I don't know. I'm kind of making it up as I go along.
And the other teachers don't really
talk to me. I mean, Brian and Margaret...
- Honey, I don't want to think. - I'm sorry. Okay, don't think.
- I just wanna... - I'm almost done, okay?
So, how much longer?
Not long. Promise.
Thank you so much for coming.
Susan's a terrific student. Thank you.
- Great to see you. - Good night. Take care.
- Jim, thank you so much. - Thanks, Brian.
I appreciate you guys coming to Parents' Night.
Drive safe.
In every war, there is an enemy.
I watched my mother being half beaten to death
and watched as blood and tears streamed down her face.
I felt useless and scared and furious at the same time.
Stay there, Brandy. Watch the kids!
- Get my money! - Watch the kids!
I can still feel the sting of the belt on my back and my legs.
One time, he couldn't pay the rent.
And that night he stopped us on the
street and pointed to the concrete.
He said, Pick a spot.
Clive was my boy. He had my back plenty of times.
We was like one fist, me and him, one army.
- That's heavy. - Yeah.
That's the real shit right here. Nobody'll jump us now.
But we got to practice 'cause this, this got power.
You shoot it, it...
I sat there till the police came.
But when they come, all they see
is a dead body, a gun and a nigga.
They took me to juvenile hall. First night was the scariest.
Inmates banging on the walls,
throwing up their gang signs, yelling
out who they were, where they're from.
I cried my first night. Can't never let nobody know that.
I spent the next few years in and out of cells.
Every day I'd worry, When will I be free?
My brother taught me what the life is for a young black man.
Do what you have to, pimp, deal, whatever.
Learn what colors to learn, gang boundaries.
You can stay on one corner, you can't stay on another.
Learn to be quiet. A wrong word can get you popped.
If you look in my eyes, you'll see a loving girl.
If you look at my smile, you'll see nothing wrong.
If you pull up my shirt, you'll see the bruises.
What did I do to make him so mad?
At 16, I've seen more dead bodies than a mortician.
Every time I step out my door, I'm
faced with the risk of being shot.
To the outside world, it's just
another dead body on the street corner.
They don't know that he was my friend.
During the war in Cambodia,
the camp stripped away my father's dignity.
He sometimes tries to hurt my mom and me.
I feel like I have to protect my family.
I was having trouble deciding what
candy I wanted, then I heard gunshots.
I looked down to see that one of my friends
had blood coming out of his back and his mouth.
The next day, I pulled up my
shirt and got strapped with a gun
I found in an alley by my house.
I don't even know how this war started.
It's just two sides who tripped each other way back.
Who cares about the history behind it?
I am my father's daughter.
And when they call me to testify, I
will protect my own no matter what.
Nobody cares what I do. Why
should I bother coming to school?
My friends are soldiers, not of war, but of the streets.
They fight for their lives.
I hate the cold feeling of a gun against my skin.
It makes me shiver.
It's a crazy-ass life. Once
you're in, there's no getting out.
Every time I jump somebody in
and make someone a part of our gang, it's another baptism.
They give us their life, we give them a new one.
I've lost many friends who have died in an undeclared war.
To the soldiers and me, it's all worth it.
Risk your life dodging bullets, pulling triggers.
It's all worth it.
Rum and Coke.
Oh, man.
This is...
Mr. Gruwell? Your table is ready. Follow me.
- Dad, I got them. - Okay.
Dad, I don't know what to do with this.
I'm not a social worker. I'm barely a teacher.
Thank you.
These kids, they're 14, 15 years old,
and if they make it through the day alive, that's good enough.
And I'm supposed to teach them?
Listen to me.
You're not responsible for their lives outside that classroom.
- Just do your job the best you can.
- How?
The administration doesn't give me any resources,
no books, no support.
So, what should I do?
Fulfill your obligation till the end of the school year,
but line up another position.
Success follows experience.
So, get some more experience.
But no matter what, you gotta remember, it's just a job.
If you're not right for this one, get another job.
You're gonna sell bras at a department store?
Just part-time.
I'm having a little trouble getting
books and things for the kids.
So, a little extra money will give me a little more freedom
to do what I want.
And this way you can play tennis with Evan after work.
Okay, let me get my head around this.
You're going to get an extra job to pay for your job.
It's just temporary. I promise.
Once the kids' grades go up, I'll get
a little more help from the school.
And I get an employee's discount. Isn't that great?
- Want a new TV? - Yeah.
Excuse me, if I wanted to order any books in bulk,
could I get some sort of a discount?
- These books are brand new. - I know.
Okay, guys, gals. Listen up.
The only problem with this book is
it's about a gang member and there's violence in it,
so you may not be able to read it as part of the curriculum.
So, I'm going to try my best to get permission, all right?
It's been a little difficult getting their attention.
Up until recently, the only thing
they hated more than each other was me.
Well, you united them and that's a step.
What can I do for you?
I want to do more with them, and I
need the support of someone in power.
You have to take this up with your
department head and your principal.